Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

Another thread was buzzing about Ingrid Bellemare’s book, Owning and training a male slave. I decided to start this discussion here instead of hijacking that other one. My partner who holds my key and I have been part of the BDSM community/lifestyle for decades. We both read her work while trying to figure out how I could better suit her needs and what would fit us both well. Also, we don’t share a home; I am married in a somewhat poly arrangement, but our dynamic is limited by respecting my wife above what we might want or what she might do if she owned me completely. With that context, the lifestyle depicted in the book isn’t one most people would manage or enjoy permanently. However, many of its core elements have become foundational to our relationship and dynamic now. As a Queer Domme, she mostly had female submissives; when male subs were involved, she had to “Put up with dick, and the need for their dicks to have attention.” With me, we’ve been good friends for years, I stood by her through several of her relationships. When discussing my transition into being her sub, neither of us wanted a sex-based relationship. For it to work with my wife, it had to be (and became) essentially sexless. I was her first experience with chastity/denial, and we initially viewed this book as somewhat extreme. We gradually weaned me off masturbation, then sexual pleasure in general. I allowed some piv sex with both her and my wife before that privilege was removed permanently. Then we found a device suitable for nearly 24/7 wear and worked on training me to desire giving pleasure (even if non-sexual) over receiving it. Currently (knowing everything with chastity/denial D/s evolves as we change), despite finding her book slightly extreme, bordering on kink fiction, many parts ring absolutely true for who I am, how I feel, and what we want from me. “The benefits of male orgasm denial become much more apparent outside the bedroom if the slave is locked up and denied permanently. He will remain in a constant state of submission and subservience knowing that pleasing his Mistress in everything is his only chance for the release of his sexual frustration. Let me say categorically that the Mistress requiring total attentiveness and subservience from her slave must impose a regime approaching total permanent denial. The slave must be allowed no access to his cock, permitted no masturbation or orgasm and, if possible, not even be allowed to obtain erection. He must leam that as a subservient he has no rights to any sexual pleasures and exists to provide pleasures for his Mistress.” We modified the last line from “provide sexual pleasures,” but that part remains the cornerstone of my chastity for me, my keyholder, and my wife. My wife doesn’t require submission or subservience from me, but she does require me locked and denied, and now I suit her needs better since she has a lower sex drive. I haven’t stopped masturbating entirely in other contexts, nor am I allowed piv sex with her anymore (or as before, with my kink partner). My need for sex and pleasure has dropped significantly because I no longer feel entitled to that pleasure. With my keyholder not being highly sexual or motivated by sex (a challenge in typical relationships), I now suit her perfectly, except perhaps for not being available as often as she’d like. I touch her, kiss her, massage her body, and generally serve her intimately, but not sexually. With her, my “release from sexual frustration” is usually her beating me until I’m no longer horny, which I’ve come to love/hate and see as a mercy. “The slave must be allowed no access to his cock, permitted no masturbation or orgasm and, if possible, not even be allowed to obtain erection. He must leam that as a subservient he has no rights to any sexual pleasures and exists to provide pleasures for his Mistress.” I have this statement saved on my computer and read it daily. Forbidding me from having erections was the real turning point in breaking me away from being a guy who likes to bottom in the bedroom, into a properly denied and chaste submissive, or as my keyholder calls me “Her boi”. Here I am, several years after initially reading the book: locked full-time, not masturbating nor wanting to, doing my best to drop my orgasm when emptying, having no erections when unlocked (except during kink time, which is another painful story!), and honestly believing that I have no right to sexual pleasures. I derive great pleasure and reward from giving it to both my wife and keyholder. Each requires something different of me (OK, both love foot rubs!) and my chastity/denial turns once trivial things into huge pleasurable experiences for me. Now that I’ve written a full-on novel here…What are your thoughts on the book, and what parts have you incorporated into your life/dynamic?