It’s been a year and a half since my last orgasm away from my wife, dating back to late February of ‘18. For more than twelve months now, hand jobs have felt ruined (though I still occasionally hold out hope she might feel pity for me). Consequently, the only time I’m permitted to climax is when she’s in the mood for intercourse—sometimes that happens a few times each month, other times not at all.
I asked her if it was okay for me to wank. Honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure what answer I wanted from her. The responses came back as: “Why?” “Only if you’re present” “Perhaps you can MB and I’ll still ruin the moment” -and- “I’m still getting used to my wish to control you”
In the end, I didn’t wank… she ruined it for me a few days later.
She has been quite accommodating over our 20+ years together, yet her answers felt sincere rather than just mind f-cking. It feels like if I were to wank alone, I would truly let her down.