I am relatively new to chastity, though I have plenty of experience with power exchange and many of the enjoyable activities that usually accompany it. My wife and I celebrated thirty years of marriage when she recently surprised me with a chastity cage. Since then, we have enjoyed an exciting period of experimentation for both of us. We have moved up to using a jailbird, which allows for much longer lockdowns and gives me a stronger sense of being caged. Our style of play has also gradually intensified. I am now approaching 21 days without sexual release, which is quite intense. For that entire time, I was locked up 24/7, with only brief unlocks to go running and one full day off for a minor health issue.
During this period, I have observed an important distinction between intended actions and unintended ones. I believe this difference influences what stimulates the puppies we lock up, as well as which activities are likely to provoke arousal. It might sound vague now, but perhaps it will become clearer if I share what happened to me this morning.
First, last night while getting ready for bed, my wife asked me to bring out the Hitachi Magic Wand and plug it in next to our bed. She didn’t plan to use it right then; she just wanted it nearby. Then she went off to sleep (we have separate bedrooms). So there I was all night with a fully charged Hitachi beside me. In our FLR, when the Hitachi appears, it isn’t always good news for me. My wife recently remarked that the device is “So good, I may not need you ever again.” This left me wondering if the morning would bring direct stimulation or just the reduced thrill of watching her use the wand herself. There was no way to tell, and I am sure that uncertainty was exactly what she intended by leaving it out. Regardless, the unfocused intensity of the device seemed to hover over my dreams all night. In the morning, I found myself straining against the bars of my Jailbird, waiting for something to happen.
Of course, nothing could have happened — my wife is perfectly capable of deciding she has too much work and simply ignoring me while attending to it. Nevertheless, I kept lying there, wondering.
I was dozing when the door opened and my wife wished me good morning. As she climbed onto the bed, I noticed the key on its lanyard around her neck — she rarely wears it unless she plans to use it. I grew hopeful. She then waved it in front of my eyes teasingly. “Where’s that vibrator?” she asked. I handed over the Hitachi. “I’m going to use this morning,” she said, ”… on you!” This was exciting news. For the past 20 days of my current chastisement, physical stimulation had been rare (not counting the constant pressure of the cage on a trying-to-swell member — I saw plenty of that).
Before I could get too excited, however, she had another idea. Midway towards unlocking me, she stopped and said, “What if I use this while you’re still in your **chastity cage”? Well, to make a long story short, she proceeded with some “tests,” applying the wand to every exposed surface of the cage and to parts of my flesh protruding through the bars. She also experimented on my fully exposed balls. Now, she didn’t just lightly touch them (though she did that too). After touching them initially, she applied increasing pressure with the wand. I groaned, then groaned more as the sensation crossed a variety of wires in my brain. With scientific demeanor, my wife asked, “Does that feel good, or does it hurt?” I explained that it felt good up to a point, after which the pressure became quite painful. “Good,” she said, and pressed the head of the Hitachi down firmly at the “painful” level again. I groaned, moaned, and endured. When she finally let up, I said, “Thank you,” meaning it sincerely.
After her experiments on my caged member and its two friends concluded, she did indeed unlock me. She then tried out the wand on my newly freed flesh and asked, with apparent sincerity, how that felt. I told her it was amazing, adding that if she didn’t stop soon, I wouldn’t be able to hold back. She played with me for a while before shutting off the vibrator. “It’s time you eat me,” she said.
Several orgasms later, my head properly squeezed from surviving her shuddering and clenching legs, she beckoned me to climb up and lie atop her. Historically, pre-chastity, this would have signaled intercourse, but nowadays nothing is as it was, especially that particular act.
She hugged and toyed with me for a while, then eventually gave the go-ahead — much to my surprise and delight — telling me to enter “slowly.” And I did. After 20 days of no release and very little stimulation, it was rather overwhelming. Moreover, she didn’t just let me in; she used her hand as a gatekeeper, with her fingernails acting like swords. As I felt myself slipping into her ready chamber, I also felt the teeth of her nails pressing into my shaft’s flanks. The result was an exquisitely soft, moist grip from her inner sanctum on my head, accompanied by sharp biting pain as her nails dug in.
This particular game wasn’t new for us, but it was new for her to do it while I was so keyed up from three weeks of denial. The contrast and extreme intensity of both sensations made me feel like I might leave my own body. Although I don’t normally reach crescendo too quickly, this morning I could only manage a few strokes before pulling back, saying, “I need to regroup before I lose control.”
I withdrew fully, and without pause, my wife announced, “You’re done. That’s it.” Intimacy at that level was over. We then resumed cuddling for quite some time before getting up to start the rest of our day.
The reason I am telling this story is to highlight two events: My wife intentionally pressing on my balls until they hurt, and her digging her nails into my shaft during sex. Some people might say this isn’t their thing or that they wouldn’t like it; others will probably ask where they can get some of that action. But I want to comment on my own reaction, which lies somewhere in between.
As it happens, the things my wife did, along with her intent, led me to thoroughly enjoy them, including every moment of suffering involved. However, it would have been possible for those exact same events not to be enjoyable at all. For example, if she had intended pure pleasure but unintentionally pressed too hard on my balls, I wouldn’t have enjoyed having them accidentally crushed. But because she was deliberately probing to see “what feels good and what hurts” and then intentionally trying to make it hurt, I was fully engaged and enthusiastically enjoying being hurt by her. Likewise with the fingernails on my shaft. If she had been aiming for a hand job but ineptly scratched me with her nails, I know I wouldn’t have enjoyed that at all. However, knowing very well that she deliberately tried to create pain I had to endure to reach the pleasure of her insides made the experience sublime. And I do know it was intentional because many times in the past I have whispered to her, “you’re hurting me,” and she…
“e times has responded, “good” or “I know.” And this brings me to the difference which gave rise to the title of this thread. For me at least, the difference between a sensation that makes me ecstatic and one that makes me annoyed is frequently a difference merely of “intent.” If i know that my wife intends to cause me suffering, then it is a thrill. If I know the discomfort is unintended, then it’s just unpleasant. Why is this? My suspicion is that deliberately inflicted pain expresses my wife’s dominance over me and compels me to submit to it. It is not an accident, it’s not fleeting. It is deliberate, and she wants me to have that experience. Knowing that a sensation is intended by my wife is enough to make me love experiencing that sensation, whether it is a classically pleasurable one, or sensation which, under other circumstances, might be very unpleasant indeed. Now, my wife is no sadist. Indeed, she is emphatically a “nice person.” But she knows that I love when she dominates me, and administering pain is one way for her to do that. She was not someone who naturally used this reaction to her advantage, but years with me has helped her to learn that she can give me exactly what i want by “forcing” me to suffer things that supposedly, no one “wants.” And for me, the fact that she comes to this not as a sadist makes her willingness to participate in the full gamut of sensation play all the more erotic, exciting and heartbreakingly loving. I believe that my reception of my wife’s dominance results in me reflecting a powerful sense of love and submission to her will, and that this reflected emotion creates positive feedback for her, encouraging her to continue to cross boundaries, so that I in turn am moved once again by the incredible rush of her power directed full strength, at me. So, it seems to me that for some keyholders, it is possible to really reach your pet by doing something to them that you know they won’t like, provided that you begin by making absolutely clear to them that you know they won’t like it, but that you want them to endure it. I would be interested in hearing if others have had a similar experience.