Background: Alpha male with over 15 years of experience as a Dom. I have never had an interest in, nor desired (and still don’t), experiencing long-term orgasm denial or chastity. ----------- fast forward to my second wife------- Because of my extensive BDSM and lifestyle background, this is the only area I haven’t at least tried. I gave her the gift of doing something with me and for me that no one has ever had or will have… complete control over my genitals, orgasms, ejaculation, and overall pleasures. My wife Mrs. J possesses an alpha personality but hasn’t held full authority in anything throughout her life before now; what better gift could I give? Especially considering I dislike subbing, do not want orgasm denial, and am willing to subject myself to this torture voluntarily. She does not cuckold me, nor does she have me acting beta in any way; it’s somewhat like a Stag and hotwife swinger relationship where she holds more power. I cry, I withdraw emotionally, I bury myself in cleaning the house and completing chores and tasks, I don’t chat much, and I am less affectionate. Does it get easier? Are there any other Alphas here who can offer advice on coping better?
I am an alpha in many respects, but not the ways you have been or mean. I need to maintain this way at work, though never necessarily in the bedroom. However, I am not naturally submissive. It was something chastity brought about in me. My guess is that if your reaction to this is negative, it will likely remain so. I'm not sure how long you've been going through this, but for most here their initial reaction to chastity was positive. I think (based on what little I know) is that your mistake was giving her something based on its value to you without regard to the cost. You said that because she hasn't experienced having this level of authority, "what better gift could I give?" It might very well be that she hasn't had this level of authority simply because she doesn't want it. I know many great tradesmen in the construction industry who never go into business for themselves. They are happier being employees because they don't want the headache of leading. You also state that you "will subject yourself to this torture willingly." If she loves you, I doubt she would want that for your sake alone. For many of us here, this is a beautiful gift our SOs bestow upon us, not a torture. If it is indeed this difficult for you, I'd suggest having a conversation with her. Emphasize that you wish to give her something special that shows how much you love her, but that you feel this isn't the right fit. Ask what she truly wants; she might surprise you.
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