Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

We frequently encounter the question on this forum: “How can I bring my partner into it?” and “What does she want?”, along with similar variations. To assist all of you gentlemen in your journey, I have taken some time to write down some advice. My hope is that this helps you achieve a more involved partner regarding your sexual fantasies. Primarily, most women desire your love and devotion. This rarely translates directly into sex, and even less so into roleplaying those sexual fantasies. Women want to be loved and cherished; they need assurance that they are the most important person in your life. They need to hear how special they are and see proof of their appreciation. Women appreciate when someone makes love to them, often viewing it as an offering of themselves to their partner. They wish for this gift to be acknowledged, knowing their partner recognizes it as a sensual and loving moment. This doesn’t mean we aren’t open to fun and mischief—we absolutely are—but our arousal isn’t like flipping a switch. Generally, women do not get aroused by the same triggers as men. Men tend to be visual, while for women, feelings and emotions play a larger role. A long, gentle kiss is more likely to arouse a woman than showing her images of your sexual fantasies. Grabbing a woman’s breasts often causes pain without sexual arousal, whereas grabbing a man’s penis usually provides some of both. I understand that chastity keeps men in a state of heightened desire for much of the time they are locked up. However, your partner isn’t necessarily experiencing that same horniness; very often, she has simply forgotten you are locked away between household chores, cooking meals, working, caring for children, and checking on elderly parents. If you want her to remember your status, be slow and affectionate; romance will help here. Avoid bringing up sex directly. Telling her how turned on you feel or how much pleasure you wish to give isn’t always the best approach if she has just arrived home from work or put the children to sleep. Instead, compliment her appearance in that outfit, note how her makeup brightens her eyes and how good her hair looks. Kiss her slowly, keep your hands to yourself, and then step back. When passing by while she sits in her chair, kiss the top of her head. Hold her hand as you do this before walking away. One kiss doesn’t imply sex. I have spoken with so many women who say much the same thing: they hesitate to approach their partner because even a simple kiss can lead him grabbing at them crudely. In recent years, conversations often include the point that she knows he watches porn and is tired of being treated like his personal star ready for action whenever convenient. You want to know how to involve your partner more in your sexual fantasies? Stop making it all about yours. Treat her as a lover, show genuine care. When she feels loved and valued instead of just another pretend movie scene, you will notice her confidence grow. That is the turning point.