My spouse has catered to my BDSM submissive desires over the past fifteen years, though she doesn’t share that kink as deeply as I do. So seeing her act exactly like a Dom hasn’t quite happened yet, and that’s fine. She goes as far as she wants to, which is wonderful for me since she participates at all.
It took some courage on my part to suggest wearing a chastity device. It was a long-held dream of mine, but to someone more vanilla, keeping a partner’s genitals locked up for an extended period seems quite unusual, even for couples who enjoy bondage in the bedroom.
She was receptive, so I bought a Holy Trainer v3. I expected to have to beg her permission to wear it, expecting her to forget about it eventually or limit its use during foreplay and such. Essentially, this is just the usual dynamic we’ve enjoyed over our happy years together: me “Topping from the Bottom”.
Luckily/Unfortunately, she has embraced the keyholder role. After a short initial adjustment period, she locked me in for four full days. I’m on day two now with absolutely no sexual activity and growing frustration.
Seeing this new reality, I’m starting to understand that there isn’t much traditional sex available in this setup
So my current dilemma is: “Is it worth it?” Do I really want to adapt to a life where I have great orgasms when they come but spend most of my time with something locked around my dick and balls? Am I certain this belongs in my life? I asked my wife, and her first answer was, “You wanted this, and no, I won’t give you the key.” But then I asked, “Does it please you to see me locked up? Are you getting something from it because right now I’m not really feeling much benefit.” She replied, “I enjoy watching your frustration build. It turns me on.” That was enough for me to keep wearing it for the time being. I feel that more time will bring some clarity, but this experience isn’t exactly what I imagined it would be. This is a bit rambling, but any advice here would be appreciated.