Greetings everyone. I suppose I ought to begin by giving a bit of background on our dynamic. My name is Justine, and I am a 39-year-old M2F transsexual who has fully transitioned (non-operative, for the record). This isn’t just a phase or a “kink thing”; it’s how I live my life. I have been taking hormones for years, but don’t expect me to get surgery anytime soon. The cost is high enough, and more importantly, I have a profound fear of doctors wielding knives—I’ve had two traumatic experiences waking up during past procedures. That combination ensures I keep my original anatomy intact. While having the “correct” parts would be nice, what I have works fine, and contrary to some trans stereotypes, I really do enjoy sex quite a bit. Yes, even with these bits.
I started seeing Lis over a year ago. At 22, she was wrapping up her degree and still a virgin. She had dated others but felt nothing truly clicked. For years, she wrestled with questions about her orientation and her kinky fantasies without finding resolution. We chatted intermittently until she attended one of my band’s performances and asked me out. Later, she shared how difficult dating could be for her; most partners left her feeling unfulfilled. After our first few encounters, I worried that her body wasn’t responding much during intercourse. Eventually, we realized the issue: while her vaginal sensation was minimal, clitoral stimulation worked wonders. Her ability to orgasm through masturbation is exceptional—she can cum within seconds using just her fingers, almost anywhere and anytime (whether at home, work, the bar, watching anime, or talking on the phone). Despite having decent orgasms, she worried that this self-pleasure was all sex would ever be for her. She wasn’t a virgin anymore, but hadn’t yet experienced deeply satisfying intercourse.
For nearly a year, we struggled with two main ideas: whether Lis actually disliked sex (which turned out to be false) and if I simply failed to satisfy her. This tension almost derailed our relationship several times, often signaled by less-than-climactic intercourse early in rocky periods. If I climaxed and she didn’t, she would sink into a deep depression, sometimes threatening a breakup. We did split briefly on occasion but always reconciled quickly out of love, even though the underlying cause persisted.
I felt that with more experience, Lis might open up and lose some fear of sex, so I proposed an open relationship where only I was restricted. Having experienced swinging in previous relationships with good results—no jealousy and a huge turn-on watching my partner get pleasure—I thought it worth letting her explore. She appreciated the offer (and still holds me to it, though she hasn’t used that option yet… more on that later) but wasn’t immediately interested. Let me add some context: Lis was the quiet wallflower in school. Stunningly beautiful with a casual, laid-back vibe, I saw past her beauty to discover plenty of insecurity and an amusing love for hentai (yes, tentacle monsters!) who wanted the perfect relationship before dating anyone regularly. Homeschooled most of her life, she had limited personal interaction beyond computers, so real-life relationships were entirely new territory. Orgasms weren’t new to her (remember my earlier point about them happening anywhere/anytime), but penetration terrified her. Raised to believe intercourse was something to be endured rather than enjoyed.
One night after some rope-play, I managed to bring her off using our vibe without penetration. As soon as the device brushed over her clit, she began to orgasm. In that moment, we both sensed we were onto something. Around then, oral sex also started working for her. Still no major breakthrough with intercourse yet.
We found ways to help her cum, which encouraged us to open up more emotionally. We searched for a solution together; when I shared my interests in chastity, cuckolding, and D/s dynamics, she revealed that she liked being the one in control. She enjoyed sex itself but preferred it without traditional intercourse. She described wanting to tie me up, while I mentioned my tease/denial fetish. Our sexual dynamic shifted dramatically over a few months until this “tie-and-tease” routine became our norm. She would bind me to the four corners of the bed and ride me until she grew tired, then pause to finger herself to orgasm while keeping me inside her. After her climax, I earned a specific number of strokes before release; if I failed, she would get up and untie me without allowing an orgasm.
We found our rhythm and discovered we were nearly perfect matches in kink compatibility. Her quiet exterior concealed a sexually sadistic woman who loved teasing and inflicting pain. My extroverted rockstar persona hid a very submissive side; yes, I admit to becoming somewhat of a masochist over the years. Outside the bedroom, we are equals, but privately my goal is her happiness in any form, even if that means long-term denial for me.
We discussed our future and decided it was time to stop fantasizing and order a device. Initially, it felt like mild curiosity, but as we researched reviews and stories online, the excitement grew for both of us. During this period, she had me write several stories (which I will upload to the Stories section if anyone is interested). As expected, she has tried some ideas from my writing on me, yet a proper chastity device remained the missing piece.
We ultimately chose the Birdlocked, primarily because it claims to be discreet under clothing. While waiting for its arrival via (only two days away), I read several blogs about chastity for insights and tips. Although many offered valuable ideas, one stood out as particularly resonant with our vibe: Edge Of Vanilla. I can’t recall the exact URL now, but its straightforward authenticity was a massive turn-on, and we plan to try many of its concepts.
Anyway, I tend to be long-winded. The main point is simply “Hi everyone!”