Journals and blogs discussion

Hey everyone I thought I’d start a blog to keep track of the changes in our lives through our chastity experience. We’ve been living the lifestyle for 2 years and it’s been great, there has also been a lot of bumps along the way as well but there is always a learning curve. We live in a FLR/ Chastity relationship, one kind of followed the other, it wasn’t really planned to live a FLR but that’s just the ways things naturally progressed. I had confessed to my wife my porn/masturbation problem and after asking her to lock me up that’s how we ended where we are at. Things had taken a bit more of a change than I’d expected though. My wife has never been much for teasing so at times things can get a little boring between lockups. She allows me to look at Tumblr as long as it’s only femdom or chastity related content. I’m now being pushed further than I have before. My lockups have gone from 1 week to 2 weeks and now she is pushing me for 3 weeks. I don’t mind the orgasm denial at all but the lack of teasing in between can be hard to deal with. To be clear it’s not like it’s a lack of total teasing, she flaunts her naked body and voluptuous breasts in front of me all the time. Shows me her pussy every time she shaves. I’m just not allowed to touch and she won’t touch me until she’s ready to play. The other difficulty I have is that my wife also likes to wait to be pleasured, when we first started out I figured/hoped I’d be pleasing her all the time but she only orgasms as often as I do. Sometimes she’ll get horny and have me please her or just get her vibrator and take care of herself depending on her mood or if I’m not home. I asked her about her lack of letting me please her. She said part of it is because it’s a better orgasm for her the longer she waits and she doesn’t mind waiting. The other part is my punishment for all the years that I masturbated secretly and deprived her of the attention I could’ve been giving her. So now I’m looking at 3 week lockups with no touch and only visual stimulation. She might let me kiss her breasts if I’m lucky and let me go down on her a couple of times during those 3 week intervals I have to look forward too. My guess is she’ll allow me to please her at least once a week as that’s what we’re used to. On the other hand she might just pleasure herself and leave me out of it altogether. We did discuss strapon play and she is going to start pegging me. I’m used to a little anal play as I really do enjoy that, I’m not sure what she’s got planned yet but I am excited. I guess the further away we get from conventional play the more enticing things like pegging and whatever else become. Actually I’m really looking forward to it and I hope we start soon. Our version of chastity is definitely bittersweet for me, I had so many ideas of how things would go when we started and it hasn’t turned out that way at all. To say the least I didn’t think she’d deny me the way she has been denying me. Part of me hates it but there is another part of me, a growing part of me really likes it! I’m very conflicted with my feelings on her near total denial at the moment. I think I’m going through some mental changes where my true submissive side is really coming out. My wife and I will lay in bed together looking at cute clothes and accessories for her discussing each outfit in detail and what goes best with what. At times I feel like her best girlfriend more than her husband. I buy her gifts with every paycheck whether it be outfits, boots, shoes or some kind of present and love spoiling the hell out of her and she loves it too. She joked with me last night that I’m only one more pair of boots away from being allowed to have sex with her. We don’t use any contracts and she rarely has chore lists for me. I do take care of the majority of the household chores but by no means do I do them all. My wife keeps me in line if there is something I forget to do, she will paddle or whip me for discipline if she disapproves of anything I do. Sometimes she’ll redden my ass just for fun and I do not mind that either because I like the attention. Her dominant personality has really come out in the last couple months, I’m not sure what has changed within here but she seems to be taking things much more serious than before and following through on what she says she’s gonna do. It’s hard to say exactly what direction our new life is taking us. Sometimes I love it and sometimes I hate it but the further we go the harder it is to turn back in fact I really don’t think there is any turning back. At this point if I chose to not be in chastity and to disregard our lifestyle I think it would do some serious harm to our relationship. As the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for. Further down the rabbit hole I go…