Female led relationships discussion

Male chastity has been a captivating fantasy of mine for years. I’ve always been sexually submissive for as long as I can remember. As young boy, I enjoyed it immensely when the other girls on the playground would take control or plant a kiss on me against my will. During puberty, I began fantasizing about women tying me down to the bed and having their way with me. The thought of a pretty member of the “weaker sex” completely humbling me and making me do something against my will was such an exciting thought to me. My interaction with pretty girls in school was that of a nervous, gawky boy who didn’t think he was good enough to clean their feet. Once I grew out of that awkward phase and into adulthood, I became a handsome and physically fit young man that young, pretty ladies found attractive. Although my confidence grew throughout my 20’s, the sexual submissiveness stayed with me. Now at 31, you’d never know from speaking to me how sexually submissive I am to women. Even though I’m naturally a very take charge sort of personality at work and other places, I seek utter and complete obedience inside the bedroom. That desire for sexual submission has leaked into other areas of my life. When I’m chaste, I’m much more desiring to give my wife total control over all the aspects of our life, including financial, decision making, etc. What I learned throughout this chastity experience is that reality is so much different than fantasy. I discovered male chastity after seeking one of my other sexual desires - bondage. As I said, the idea of a woman restraining a man was very appealing to me. It’s there that I discovered femdom and that opened up a whole new world to me. I couldn’t believe that there were beautiful women out there that enjoyed punishing men. I found the idea of a woman imposing her will on a man me floggjng him or spanking his testicles while he lay there restrained and helpless to be absolutely intoxicating. One thing led to another and I discovered the femdom practice of teasing and orgasm denial sessions. I loved the concept, but when I discovered that women were using it in conjunction with a locking male chastity device to deny the man the ability to masturbate, my jaw dropped. I didn’t even keno that such devices existed and found the idea that a woman would deny a man even that avenue of relief in order to properly keep him sexually frustrated and teased to be wickedly genius. I read as much on the subject as I possibly could and over the years envisioned as total FLR fantasy that went as follows: Married to a beautiful young woman with a domineering personality that worked as a highly paid, big shot corporate manager. I work and my pay is directly deposited into her account. I’m given an allowance and have to ask her for permission to purchase anything and must provide receipts when requested. I have to do all the cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, etc around the house. I am pierced and locked in a secure male chastity device. I’m given only 1 orgasm a quarter on average and completely up to her discretion. I must service her orally every night and upon request and endure numerous teasing and denial seasons while restrained to the bed. If I am to be granted my quarterly orgasm, I must have proven my worth by way of completing all my house chores to her liking and by way of romantic gestures, such as buying her flowers, giving her a massage and bubble baths, etc. I must take her shopping and watch her try on clothes and carry her bags. All decisions, big and small, are hers and I must abide by anything she tells me to do. I am punished harshly by way of an extension in chastity and cbt for any disobedience or whining about sexual frustration. This was my fantasy. What I got in reality was a vanilla wife who isn’t that much into sex, who cares for me deeply, but doesn’t desire to have complete control took over my life. A wife that was willing to try and has taken an unusually kind liking to the control, but may never reach that point I had fantasized about. What I also discovered was chastity isn’t all fun and games. It’s really hard sometimes and requires a lot of effort on both parts. I discovered that I can actually love and hate the very thing that I fantasized about all these years. That my limits would be pushed in a way I never imagined before. I discovered that this is something that can’t be undone now, as my wife is so heavily invested in it now. I discovered that what started out as sexual fantasy, something to beat off on, has turned into something that has forced me to look at women differently and admire their many wonderful characteristics. Although I’m still relatively new to tbbr reality of all this, I’m learning my love/hate relationship with male chastity is just part of a greater overall journey to find and better understand myself as human being.