Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

I’m struggling to hand over total authority to my wife. By that, I mean she decides everything as it suits her, much like a Female Led Relationship (FLR). But I wonder if this is truly what I desire. She controls my orgasms for sure, but aside from that, not much else appeals to me deeply. Yet, isn’t the choice really mine? Her management of my orgasm has felt somewhat lackluster so far, which makes me think it’s because I don’t allow her enough dominance over me. I don’t feel inherently submissive in nature, yet I crave her control. It’s tricky to put into words. The idea of total denial excites me more than almost anything else; however, when the cage is on my body, all I can focus on is ejaculating. I want her authority, but I also desire a degree of autonomy (other than just being in chastity), and I suspect these two wants might not mesh well together. Is everything really left to her discretion? That’s hard for me to accept entirely. The prospect of losing control completely feels a bit frightening, which perhaps explains my hesitation. It leaves me feeling exposed when I consider it. Hope this clarifies things; any advice would be welcome. I feel like I’m being quite the baby about all this LOL.