Female led relationships discussion

I’m worried about going in circles here, but I’ve been curious how other people describe their chastity fetish to their partner, especially when that person is new to it. I brought up the topic with my girlfriend early on in our time together. Naturally, she had many questions, and my answers always started with, “well…it’s complicated…” Here’s an example: I’m asked, from one to ten, how much I’d like to be unlocked for masturbation. It has been a week since my last ruined orgasm; I am horny and fairly sure that no matter what answer I give, I won’t get released yet. I say seven because physically, that’s where I stand, swollen plums included. But mentally, I would admit disappointment if she allowed me to come out for masturbation. Mentally, the score is zero. (Ask again in a week and it will likely be different.) If asked whether I enjoyed a deeply humiliating and somewhat uncomfortable prostate massage, I am completely confused. I can’t even answer for myself, let alone explain it to a newbie key holder. If our deepest desire is to be denied, then isn’t denial actually granting our innermost wish? I wonder if some of this conflict stems from the kink’s early days, when devices were rare as hen’s teeth and we explored themes mostly through Altairboy’s non-consensual fiction. Are we not supposed to genuinely enjoy ‘forced’ chastity…? Many CM users are at a point where they no longer need to articulate what feels good or bad because they simply do as told, and I feel that day approaching for me too. Still, I am interested in seeing how members reconcile these conflicting ideas & how you communicate the things you ‘love’ and ‘hate’, as well as how you really feel.