There is plenty written about how orgasm denial keeps a man attentive and compliant for his partner, but less said about giving regular orgasms to earn that same response through gratitude. That was definitely my situation for many years. We had intercourse daily or more often, and I felt so grateful towards my willing wife that I treated her like royalty. I relocated 13 times whenever she wanted to move closer to her family, who always seemed to settle nearby a few years after we did. She chose all eight houses. Every other year, I purchased her with a new car. She was placed on a pedestal: allowed to sleep with others if she desired (rarely), given a maid for household chores, new wardrobes each season, and four to six vacations annually to exclusive destinations. Private night club memberships and limousines for special outings were part of the package. She received everything she wanted and more. For me, it was about love and the great sex I enjoyed from her. When denied, I became irritable and difficult, so denial worked in reverse for me.
Thus, I think there are two sides to shaping your man into what you desire. One approach is offering something he does not want to lose; the other is withholding it until he earns it. Agree?
Currently, we have shifted to rewarding after the fact—chastity with T&D—but this change stems mainly from post-menopause and medical issues that make providing sex as often as I seem to need more difficult. So we adapted by switching sides of the coin. If I’m honest, I do miss those frequent orgasms, but my wife has absolutely embraced it; she likely loves it because it relieves her guilt over not giving me enough sex like before. Now life runs on her schedule, so there is no guilt in delaying my orgasm. Chastity hasn’t altered how we interact at all since we’ve had a long-term, wife-led marriage with roles well-defined over time. I always respect her needs and strive to please her. Not having many orgasms until she wants them hasn’t changed that dynamic. What it has done is intensify our T&D games because I enter them hungrier than if I were getting more frequent releases.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that maybe not everyone views chastity merely as a way to improve the man. I have always been the husband my wife wanted me to be, and I chose to stay that way so I wouldn’t lose what she provided.