Alright, so I’m not exactly a novice when it comes to chastity. I’ve experimented with past girlfriends before. Back in the day, locking up for two or three weeks was pretty normal. But it’s been several years since I really dove into it seriously (and let me tell you, sleeping while locked has always been an absolute nightmare!).
Fast forward to today. Two years ago, I met my lovely girlfriend. At that time, I was the dominant partner and looking for someone more submissive. My girlfriend is a very sensitive soul who liked me quite a bit. She did her best to be what I wanted. However, our sex life never really clicked; we didn’t manage to connect on spiritual or emotional levels, nor sexually in terms of chemistry. But everything else about us was wonderful!
After six months, she unfortunately developed vulvodynia, making PIV (penis-in-vagina) intercourse practically impossible. The last year has been tough. We have non-PIV sex occasionally now, but the highly sexual woman I met two years ago hasn’t really returned. Yesterday, she mentioned that something shifted around the six-month mark; she feels more asexual now. Part of this is likely because many people (mostly women) lose some interest in sex during long-term relationships.
For me, though, it has been incredibly difficult. Man, I miss fucking! It’s so hard that I’ve thought about breaking up several times. But I love her, and what we have together is rare to find. I’m 44 and have dated quite a bit since then. I really want this relationship to work.
I had considered chastity before, but never saw it as being for her benefit. Yesterday, I sat down with her and explained how hard living without PIV has been for me. We’ve discussed opening our relationship before, and yesterday the topic came up again. She’s mentioned wanting a soft tantra experience with others in the past, and I’ve talked about finding submissive girls to play with. We’d discussed this previously.
In a way, though, we’ve always taken the easy route—Plan B. It might work, but it could also drive us apart further. Anyway, after some talking, hugging, and kissing, I thought, ‘why not’. Maybe I was just a bit desperate. I shared an old fantasy of mine: “In this dream, my girlfriend suffered from vaginal pain during intercourse. So she kept me locked in a chastity cage and insisted on it because normal sex hurt her.”
This was a true fantasy from long ago. The idea that this ‘fantasy-girlfriend’ really wanted me constantly locked up felt incredibly sexy to me! It’s a bit of a strange situation given we’re now living through something similar, but with a girlfriend I didn’t expect would enjoy it at all—she’d almost been afraid to see what was in my toy box.
When I told her about it, she wasn’t opposed. When I explained that all my sexual energy could only release through massaging her and giving her pleasure, she smiled and said ‘that sounds quite nice’. Another reason I thought there might be a slight chance she’d embrace chastity is that some months ago, I practiced tantric self-stimulation to become multi-orgasmic. On some of those days, I was incredibly horny, and she liked it! I abandoned that project for other reasons, but the memory stuck.
I felt electric and happy all day yesterday! Didn’t sleep much either due to excitement. But I’m trying very hard not to overwhelm her now. From what I’ve read, this is a critical moment. But damn, it’s tough… This morning when we woke up and discussed our plans for the day, she also said ‘we should look into this cock-cage thing…’
It’s very difficult not to push! Right now, I think it’s mostly my fantasy projected onto her. Something that might make things easier since we don’t have PIV. And she’s probably interested right now because she could see the happiness in my eyes. But seriously, I believe this could do a lot of good for her too. She told me it’s very difficult when she feels pushed toward sex—when reacting to my expectations or what she thinks they are.
Wish me luck. There’s a chance I’ll be caged soon… I hope I don’t mess this up!
