Keyholder remarks that drive us up the wall

I figured it would be entertaining to share the remarks our group of Key Holders has made that either make you nearly explode in your cage or just give you a good laugh. Here goes nothing. When she turned on her iPad, she remarked; “Slide to Unlock”, I can imagine you wishing you could do that! I asked if I might be released on Christmas Day because of my rowdy nephew who likes to punch people and my balls are right in his line of fire; “Unlock it! Baby, I am going to tie a ribbon around it.” During a relaxed chat, I asked her how many orgasms she thought I’d get next year, and she replied “3.” I was surprised and asked if she meant it and how she got that number, “One for each Season of the year.” “But there are four seasons.” “I don’t care, it’s still 3.” When I commented on how well the naughty mesh g-string supported the weight of the steel, I suggested getting another pair. “Get 7.” My briefs are off limits now. Finally, knowing my fondness for her pretty red toes, during every Xmas party or lunch with friends, she texts me a picture of her feet in heels or sandals with the note “Wish you were here.” I inevitably head home early and spend some time massaging her feet after that. I do love it when she pushes my buttons. What gets your goat?