Introductions discussion

Hello everyone… I suppose I’ve been lurking (as has been noted) here long enough to grasp the ins and outs of chastity and its lifestyle, so it’s high time to officially say HI! I’m a 40-year-old male with bi tendencies, a submissive bottom who is somewhat new in this scene. For most of my life, I’ve struggled with a mild addiction to porn. Over the years, I noticed myself waking up each morning needing to masturbate. Among the many collections of adult entertainment available, I found a particular affinity for BDSM. I realized that I wanted to find a way to control my morning erections before they controlled me in turn. I’ve tried different methods such as frenum tubes and leather cock harnesses. However, either they were very painful and never healed properly or they failed to keep me completely restrained. Earlier this year, I did a Yahoo search on male chastity devices and stumbled upon this site. It grew on me, and I found myself developing an affinity for it, feeling compelled enough to purchase a chastity device like the Bird Cage. I can’t say that the “No Pain, No Gain” or “No Pain, No Pleasure” philosophy has ever been of great interest to me personally, but as I began wearing the devices I bought, I discovered the joy of being denied playtime while enjoying it and a certain somewhat painful sense of controlling fulfillment in not having full command over my man hood. The nights started out reasonably well without too much pain, becoming more bearable as time went on by finding pleasure in forcing an erection to become a desired and needed experience that is pleasantly painful as I wake to the natural call of its urge. More pain, more pleasure—at least for my cock it seems—might be the start, but regarding the rest of BDSM, only time will tell. The need for someone to take control of this fulfillment, particularly the KH who makes it all purposeful and essential, has always been present over the last few months, and the community here has been quite inviting for that role. Keeping the chastity on for a few days up to a week or two hasn’t been too bad, but something always seems to whisper subconsciously telling me to take it off without any CONSEQUENCE or thought regarding what I was wishing and WILLING to keep in control. I guess time will only tell what may come of this life and the means to satisfy it. So this is mostly who I am, and I want to find a way to continue this lifestyle in agreement with someone else for a purposeful meaningful relationship.