Journals and blogs discussion

We’ve arrived at that moment. The point where we both realize this is how it will be from now on. There’s no turning back. I’m giddy, fully consumed, and needing a place to share my thoughts. The watershed for us was strange - we’d spent a year or two trying to incorporate chastity into an FLR (or vice versa) but faltered again and again, neither of us quite sure what we were doing. Then I had a very unusual experience in which I did a deep meditation and got in touch with the part of my psyche that is exactly opposite to my outward appearance - a dominant female energy that imparted some stern wisdom about how I could be a better slave. (At some point I might copy the entry from my journal to this blog, if anyone’s interested. It was a weird old night.) Anyway, the advice turned out to be pretty spot on. Our relationship is intensifying day-by-day, I become ever more intoxicated, subservient and in need of offloading (no pun intended) as my brain whirls with it all…so here I am. I’m not one for keeping tally of how long I’ve been locked but for the sake of setting the scene, I’m guessing it’s somewhere around the 2-3 week mark. During that time there’s been no physical teasing, two very brief supervised hygiene releases and one locked session with a new inflatable butt plug that left me a simpering wreck. Tonight’s torture was intolerable. I lay at the foot of her bed on the camp bed that is now my permanent ‘slave bed’, arms pinioned behind my back, while she slid off the device. The tease - slow, delicate and punctuated with warnings not to spill - can’t have lasted longer than a minute, when she suddenly stopped, saying: “That’s enough. You have be grateful for whatever crumbs of pleasure I give you, no matter how small.” I was told the device would be going back on at 9 O’Clock “No touching. Enjoy your freedom,” she added. And there I lay - so desperate for one more touch that I was almost ready for tears, but at the same time lost in gratitude and utterly awestruck at the cruelty of it. She watched a film while I lay there, hoping she was joking. The device went back on at nine on-the-dot and I stayed in the slave bed for a long time, just holding her beautiful feet.