Seventy-Year-Old Man Shares Twelve Years of Chastity Tips

Here’s some context. I began dating in the first grade, lost my virginity to a gay pal at thirteen, and had an eighteen-year-old girlfriend when I was fourteen; she taught me much. Upon returning from Vietnam at age twenty, I found myself acting as a cuckold while living with that girl. I got engaged twice, both times to bisexual women. I married the second one, and the first is now married to another woman—this explains why my wife struggled to reach orgasm with me compared to other girls.

In short, for three decades, my spouse and I shared a live-in girlfriend who worked part-time. She acted as my Domme and enjoyed S&M activities with me, which grew quite intense initially. For the first while, I could climax during our threesomes (which happened 2-3 times over those thirty years). Later, permission to orgasm became required, often granted only when I was in pain regarding chastity matters until twelve years ago, relying on my honor system. Over twenty years have passed since I last penetrated a woman, and oral sex is rarely permitted. My wife loves vibrators and achieves multiple intense climaxes with them.

The amusing part is that most of this history predates the internet era; we didn’t know the specific names for what we were doing. We hadn’t heard the term “Poly Triad” until a few years ago, even though we avoided sex sites online. As they say, those who do it need not look up definitions on the web. I’ve shared this background so you understand I speak from experience, not speculation. We explored every fetish available on Fetlife, including the grosser ones and some unlisted ones:)

My wife holds my key. She prefers sex with women because she finds them more aesthetically pleasing and arousing, though she never developed romantic feelings for a woman nor dated one exclusively; it was either a threesome or nothing. Still, she needed a male partner in bed to receive CBT and nipple torture. Always open-minded, she could climax quickly and repeatedly until exhaustion. She is every premature ejaculator’s dream.

Here are our findings on how we keep chastity enjoyable:

I am currently in my twelfth year of 24/7 lock up with no side effects; I never even got chafed. If you do it correctly and ignore those who base their knowledge solely on watching Chastity porn, you should be fine, though studies are lacking either way.

My suggestions:

1. The cage is not the essence of chastity; rather, it represents your promise to your key holder that only she can grant you an orgasm. So what if you remove it for a shower? As long as you don’t jerk off, there’s no harm.

2. Remember that self-control is central. Do not expect your key holder to work full-time monitoring your penis. It is YOU who prevents the climax because you can easily masturbate in various ways while locked (methods detailed in Chastity Porn). Since you can make yourself cum even when caged, chastity is your personal commitment, not someone else’s burden.

3. Maintain good hygiene. I use sponge swabs bought on Amazon for a few dollars; they come in hundreds and can be trimmed to fit in my pocket. At home, I squeeze water inside the cage using a bottle. When out, I carry a small sanitizer-style bottle or simply wet toilet paper and squeeze it into the cage before drying with the swab. If the openings are large enough, wrapping toilet paper around the swab absorbs all excess moisture.

4. Add about 10-15% mouthwash to your water in the squeeze bottle; more will sting. This keeps the cage minty fresh and eliminates odors.

5. I unlock for unsupervised showers and haven’t masturbated during them in over ten years. This allows me to inspect my penis and scrotum for hot spots or chafing, thoroughly clean it, let it hang free briefly to restore blood flow, then dry and re-cage it.

6. If your key holder is a wife or girlfriend, make it easy for her. Avoid making her feel like a prison guard who must constantly check you due to distrust.

7. Dedicate 5-10 minutes weekly to discuss issues or desired changes. Chastity isn’t necessarily a punishment, despite what some read about. How can you punish someone when they hold a vibrator and cum within minutes?

8. Establish limits for both parties. We agreed on the number of orgasms I get per year, as well as other lifestyle aspects. If one is unhappy with something, we negotiate to ensure enjoyment for both. For instance, I prefer staying locked during sex to avoid accidental orgasm, while my wife enjoys playing with my penis using her vibrator; so we alternate methods.

9. A formal contract isn’t required because they aren’t legally binding and often read like a list of demands based on the male’s desires (e.g., “If I talk back, you whip me”). These rules reflect what the man wants to force upon his key holder. But if she doesn’t feel like whipping him that day? It becomes work for her, forcing actions outside her mood. Rules also change quickly and can become confusing or contradictory; your key holder might adhere to an older version rather than new ones.

10. This is the most critical rule in Chastity: Your key hole makes all rules, changing them as often and without notice as she pleases based on knowing what you like/expect from Chastity, even spur-of-the-moment decisions.

11. It is vital to have a key holder who prioritizes your welfare above all else. You MUST have quick access to an emergency key. I speak from experience: twice EMS took me for immediate surgery because the key was unavailable at 3 AM or required FedEx shipping days away if she were a pro user keeping it distant. Many ways exist to carry an emergency key; my wife seals hers in a signed envelope (to detect tampering), which fits in my wallet. If pinching occurs, I call for permission before using the key, though with urgent health issues, retroactive permission suffices.

12. Chastity is its own sexual fetish and does not require Cuckolding, BDSM, Femdom, etc., to exist independently as part of a larger lifestyle if desired. For us, past our younger years, aside from some CBT and nipple play (which my wife enjoys), the primary focus remains orgasm denial. There are no official rulebooks for any fetish; don’t let others’ ideas become mandatory rules. When I was younger and into BDSM, I thought pegging belonged in our mix until a torn colon infection taught me otherwise after what passed through it. If you try pegging, start with a small dildo, not the larger sizes seen in porn.

13. Never forget that sex exists for your key holder’s pleasure only. All efforts ensure she has good orgasms; do not expect anything else to avoid disappointment or resentment.

14. You don’t have to wear the cage everywhere outside unless you enjoy jerking off publicly and lack self-control. While I used to stay locked out of the house, it became a pain in the neck and less fun.

I wear a wedding ring as symbol of my marriage. If I go out without it, does it mean I no longer love my wife and marriage. Think abut this. You can orgasm in ANY Chasity device using a vibrator, jerking off the cage with your penis in it or inserting something through one of the openings and more, so what harm can occur if you do not wear it while exercising, shopping or at work. If you enjoy wearing it all the time than by all means do because as I said before, there are no rules, only the ones the two of you make up. 15. Last bit of advice, orgasms denial is a big part of Chasity. Being locked up between your regular orgasm schedule can be fun but all that I is is masturbation control because you expect an orgasm when you have sex. This is fun too but you will never experience what you can without going at least a mont without an orgasm. No hard rule, just wait long enough that you have sexual energy coursing through your body and the sight of a bare shoulder on a female excites you. These are suggestions that worked for us for a dozen years and not intended to be a rule book Just something to think about.