blade-jogger Our Journey Began Backwards

For us, it started a little backward. I fell unknowingly into chastity. My wife and I both worked in the sex industry. I directed and occasionally performed in fetish/bondage-heavy porn media. I did this for more than 15 years and was well entrenched in that community. I was never in the submissive role, and most of my relationships followed the D/s dynamic, with me being the Dominant. Sex was a regular for me, and even the kinkiest threesome became… dare, I say, boring. I have had casual sexual relationships with a few hundred women, some long-term, some flings. Fucking was as common as shaking hands. I was a man whore in every possible way imaginable. Now well into my 40’s I met my wife when she was in her mid-twenties. She was a prominent professional dominatrix who cultivated high-end clientele and was known in the kink community. She was not a “full-service” Domme and had a reputation for professionalism and quality work. We started hanging out as friends more than 8 years ago. When we started dating we were both sleeping with others and sometimes playing with others together. But, we started feeling like we were just doing these things because that was what we knew to do. We were both sexually burnt out and bored. Our relationship emotionally grew deeper and deeper, we both decided to choose to move to being monogamous and we decided that we would bring the D/s dynamic into the relationship with me being the Domm. Soon after I proposed, we married and we are very happily married. It’s been six years. We both have graduate degrees (porn wasn’t my end game), mine is in finance and she now works as a therapist. We managed to hide our former lives fairly well. We live a fairly “normal” life now with a dog and no kids. But, about three years ago we were stuck in a rut. There was no kink we haven’t explored or explored too much. PIV, fisting, latex, ropes, blah blah blah. We took comfort in our monogamy and the idea of bringing in another person to play with didn’t appeal to either of us. **My first chastity experience ** I am going to be opaque with some of my details here. It wouldn’t be too difficult to tease out my wife’s identity if I talked too much about her past. But, let’s just say she knew about chastity. And she had acquired quite a collection of chastity cages from various manufacturers. Early on in our relationship, she asked if I would give my opinion about a new type of plastic PA cage. I have a PA piercing and she ask me to try this PA cage to see how comfortable it was and if it hurt. It was more for research about the quality and comfort of the cages build. There was some joking about keeping me locked, but it was more silliness than anything else. I left it on for a few days and that was that. I gave a full report, and life went on. I didn’t think too much about it. Fast forward a couple of years. We both have baggage from our prior lives… it was important to both of us that we feel secure in their fidelity and love for each other. She has a necklace that she can’t remove that serves as her token to me. I have a bracelet that I can’t remove as mine, but when she was going back east to visit family and I had to stay behind we both felt that a stronger token for me would make us both feel closer. We thought for a few days, looked around, but couldn’t find anything that stood out to both of us. Then right before leaving, right after we had our goodby sex, she was laying on top of me, and told me to close my eyes, she cuffed my hands above my head and surprised me by removing my piercing, and putting on that same cage she had me try on years before. That was it. She left for her trip and the comfort of knowing that she had my keys with her provided me with the first real sense of intimacy I think I had in decades. After that trip, the chastity cage started making me crave things I took for granted. I looked at my wife differently, she was now (for the first time in forever) giving me a “new” sexual experience. Things have progressed since then even more. The cage never came off after she came back. Six months later it was replaced with a custom metal PA cage, but I’ve only taken the cage off to go through airport security. My keys live in a safety deposit box, and my wife has the only keys to the bank box hidden away. In the past three years my device has been off a total of 6 times for a total of 43 accumulative minutes, and only for security screenings - my doctor knows about my device and it has not interfered with any medical needs. I am no longer the D in our D/s dynamic. Other things have come up in the past couple of years. My wife has a latex fetish, and I have discovered that I have a sensory deprivation fetish. It has resulted in me sleeping with a latex hood and a locked collar every night. It has nose holes and micro-perforations and is plenty safe. She also asks that I wear it when we have sex most of the time - furthering my denial. Oh, and sex now happens with me wearing a strap-on. She has a “Cock Cabinet” with nine of her favorite cocks and picks which one she wants me to use. I now work from home, but my wife has to go to the office for work now and again. When she leaves she asks that I wear a latex hood with micro-perforations for the eyes, nose and, mouth, also with a locking collar or leg restraint if I have a work call I need to talk on. She takes the keys with her… there is an emergency box, but there are consequences for accessing that without a really good reason. And, that is why there is the cattle prod. But, I’ll save that for later. We are coming up on my third full year in chastity. We check in often about how each other feels about our journey. Over wine, the other night my wife reiterates that she needs time, a long time, away from dealing with men’s cocks and that she doesn’t see herself ever feeling the need to use mine or any other ever again. She also reminds me often that my cock is the one that she loves most in this world. So much that she has locked it up to make sure nothing happens to it. I love that we have uncovered a new type of intimacy that is rich and full of new experiences. We are closer than ever, and really feel connected. I know that I was hesitant to relinquish control over sex. The need to be the dominating person in my sexual relationships, the need to control other’s experiences in sex says a lot about my old insecurities. I am over it, and I see it for what it is now. I posted in the “Hot things your keyholder has said!” earlier that after my first year in chastity my wife told me: “Now that we proved it can be done - I guess it’s a good time to tell you that your cock is never going to fuck anyone ever again - this is forever.” It’s good to have someone with years of experience holding your key. Thanks for taking the time to read. I know these posts are cathartic for each of us that feel compelled to post here.