Hi everyone! I’m thrilled to have found such a welcoming, grounded community here for sharing and learning about chastity stories!
Background: I’ve been in a committed relationship for 11 years. He was the first man to help me reach orgasm and made me feel safe and cherished. Although he usually takes charge during our sex life, he struggles with premature ejaculation. Fortunately, he is thoughtful enough to use his mouth or hands most of the time before he comes himself. Over the years, I’ve been a bit shy, but now I’m stepping out of my shell more. I realize that while I don’t need it all the time, adding some variety beyond vanilla sex helps me get off better.
Currently: He introduced the idea of male chastity devices to me—a concept I had no clue existed until last month! He’s very knowledgeable and has years of fantasy backing him up. Remember, I love being spanked while he f*s me; I enjoy being bound, used for his whims, and f**d.
Now the roles are shifting slightly. I’ve put him in a CB3000 for a few days now. He’s loving it but is starting to ask for release and cumming, though I’m not ready yet because I’m enjoying the attention he gives me! We established some basic rules, and honestly, he seems to be testing them on purpose. He gets turned on by harsher punishments: flogging, paddles, me using a strap-on him, etc. Lately, however, it’s been hard for me to deliver these because I’m not used to being the one in control (though he loves that, and so do I—I’ve been wet and horny wanting him to please me repeatedly).
I know he needs to understand his place. Last night, I punished him for breaking rules. (During the day with small children around, it’s harder). I counted every time he didn’t follow our guidelines, reminding him that there would be a cost! After bringing me to orgasm four times, I had him kneel on all fours on the bedroom floor. His head was down, no eye contact allowed, while I looked down at him.
My chest tightened: how could I hit this beautiful man who is so responsive and loving? He makes me feel like a goddess! I alternated between using the paddle and the flogger, making him count each strike, pausing to caress him softly in between. It felt sexy, but also guilty—hitting him actually hurt me emotionally.
My dilemmas: I’m confused about how I can enjoy being in charge yet feel so much guilt after punishing him. How do I tap into that dominant side of myself? He seems to push me toward punishment by breaking our clearly set rules.
I am turned on by this whole experience and want to continue, but the guilt over using him for my benefit is real—especially when he begs me to release him while still pleasing me. Ugh, I’m torn! Does anyone have similar experiences? How do you handle these feelings?
I’m a cuddly, loving person who was raised to prioritize her husband’s needs and come second. Always putting others first, this journey is about my sexual awareness AND building confidence. He is very sexually aware—perhaps even kinkier than me! I just discovered that upon starting our chastity journey: he craves things I’ve never known or considered before.
Everything feels so new to me. On his list for fun and punishment, he mentions wearing women’s clothes, flogging, paddles, humiliation, using a strap-on on him, etc. I’m curious but unsure if I can play the Domme role he envisions. Apparently, our ideas were slightly misaligned.
I might warm up to these things over time, but it feels like everything is happening at once for me now! We have a strong relationship and talk openly about feelings—his and mine. He even thought last night’s punishment was sexy and thanked me for it. But I feel I need advice from someone with real experience.
Please help!