Journals and blogs discussion

So… I have been given the task of keeping a journal/blog. The frequency will be at least once a week, or whenever I have ideas, fantasies, or general questions that form and circulate in what I call my mind. As we talked about this, Mistress and I discussed putting it in a public forum. I brought it up because I like the idea of getting feedback, both positive and negative. For me, being a male slave has been a bit weird and difficult. This is because within our local community, which I love, most of the submissives/slaves/bottoms are women. There is no issue with that, but there isn’t really a sub-community that understands the dynamic of a female-led relationship. From some brief encounters on this site, we decided it was an appropriate venue, along with the positive attitude we have encountered so far. I digress… For the past few months, I have been an emotional terror! I won’t deny it. It seemed like everything in life was getting to me: work, friends, family, etc., etc., etc. And it all came to a head last week. Neither of us were practicing what we preached, and our relationship was becoming a shadow of itself. It became hard not to leave things at the door, and we got so caught up in trying to be what we read about and saw, that we stopped spending time on who we actually are. I lay the blame solely upon myself. The reason: I was a shadow of myself. I wasn’t the person she fell in love with 12 years ago, and instead of letting our lives naturally progress into this lifestyle; I focused on what it should be rather than what it is. Add to that the stress I began to feel because of my (pardon my french) shitty attitude. It affected everything: work, family, friends, and ultimately us. But, we had a breakthrough! It was such a relief to know what was going on in my head and with her right there; I knew change was possible. I will always be me. Me? A male slave who plays/writes music, writes, is goofy, sometimes funny, and worships Mistress. It is fairly simple. I also came to understand that my attitude extended outwards to everything! Wow, everything! I was disrespectful, reflecting Mistress in a way. At work, at play, and amongst other slaves, submissives, dominants, Masters, bottoms, and tops. What a revelation! So, now the journey truly begins. I am starting to find myself, and with that I can only truly serve!