My wife and I had sex today. That makes two days in a row. Tonight she experienced an orgasm that made her toes curl when she wasn’t really in the mood for it. Her orgasms keep improving as my denial continues, which I’ve mentioned before. I started a new medication with side effects of impotence and inability to climax. It seems to have taken effect after two weeks; I couldn’t get hard or even close to an orgasm on my own. My wife declared my penis more useless than usual, finding that edging me feels like too much work for little reward. So she decides not to bother and prefers I just stay locked up.
As we relaxed while she came down from her toe-curling orgasm using her vibrator, I began thinking our marriage is truly run by her. It’s not quite the FLR fantasies you read about online but rather a similar dynamic where my wife now leads it. I realized that all of her female friends lead their marriages too, and in fact, so do many married women living here in our large retirement community because wives are usually younger. Her husband peers have either prostate cancer or heart disease; they don’t have sex anymore. Lower testosterone, reduced libido, and memory problems also contribute to the wife leading.
In our case, my daily medications mess with my memory and cloud my mind. I get confused at times. My won’t let me drive when she is in the car because my mind wanders; I’ve crashed into our garage twice and turned down lanes where cars were coming. Diabetes also affects my body differently now: one way causes Erectile Dysfunction, which I have, and even Viagra doesn’t help much. Last week I was put on another drug whose side effect is anorgasmia. So in addition to not getting hard, I cannot climax either. My libido went from high to barely there.
Mix all of the above with her spending three nights a week with girlfriends who lead their marriages, and you have a subtle shift from me leading to my wife doing so. As I always ask, why don’t men require wives to be slaves, lick feet, or get whipped for rule infractions when they lead? Yet when men think of FLR, it becomes the fantasy we read about online. For us, it’s subtle changes. She schedules my life and keeps me from doing things that might not end well. I have naturally fallen in line due to chastity but she still asks politely and thanks me for complying. To her, leading is simply practical: letting the best-equipped person lead.
My life has changed a lot since we started 4 years ago. Prior to that I stopped taking any medication affecting my sex life. Now I don’t care since I am not using my penis anyway. We have had no intercourse for so long it’s hard to remember when last we did—maybe 15-20 years ago. It stopped halfway through her relationship with her girlfriend as she began preferring women over men. She likes sex with me, but given the limitations of medically induced problems and lack of intercourse, it wasn’t quite the same without her girlfriend in bed.
Funny how this journey changed our marriage dynamics slowly and subtly rather than strictly D/s style. You can lead a marriage without becoming a Mistress or domme. Our marriage has always been equal with neither doing something the other dislikes. If she didn’t like one of my friends, I dropped him; if I disliked her going out every night, she stopped. We compromise with no final say held by either person, and it remains that way. Perhaps best described as my wife managing our marriage and me. I really did not realize it until today while focused on sex, paying little attention to everything else. Chastity has been responsible for most differences. I do not live in fantasyland so nothing exciting regarding licking feet or being a slave. We love each other after all.
I also learned that women are subtle. Not challenged directly but slowly and surely my wife got me less reliant on orgasms and her managing our marriage.
