So Sunday morning came early; I got up to feed the animals and brewed a cup of tea for D before tackling my usual chores. Heading back upstairs, I settled in for a while. The routine questions and statements started rolling in—“I’m so full love, please can I play,” “when can I come out?”—all the familiar stuff. I know I shouldn’t ask too much, but it’s part of how we live this lifestyle.
D was fairly quiet; I put that down to her period pains because she really does suffer from them, though there seemed a slight difference today. We enjoyed lunch out together, walked the dogs and chatted. Knowing I can sometimes go a bit overboard with submissiveness, I tried keeping it in check. However, after 16 days since my last release, it’s reaching that point for me where it is pretty much all I think about.
Back home, I set to work making dinner: Sunday roast with all the trimmings and banana cake for dessert. D watched football while I was right in my element. We ate, then I cleaned up while she had a nap; serving her all day felt like bliss…
But something still wasn’t quite right. Later that evening, she sat me down to apologize, saying this is exactly how her ex treated her and that she was out of line getting me to wait on her hand and foot all day when she should have helped more. I love this aspect; a key part of our lifestyle is my serving her, waiting on her, being her submissive. I’ve tried explaining it before, and most times she loves it (nearly as much in the bedroom). Now I’m worried: am I doing too much? Was she just having a wobble?
We talked more about it, and she said it was fine; she was simply feeling guilty. I remain locked, we’re still doing everything else, but this isn’t the first time she’s mentioned it, so I’m starting to worry. The last thing I want is to make things difficult for her. I am just trying to be the best I can for her.