I recently returned from a weekend at a men’s retreat in Connecticut. It is a wonderful group offering a secure environment for guys to explore intimacy, sexuality, and the many other issues that matter to us. On Friday evening, we had a workshop on sexuality with roughly thirty of us there. The advice was to not go up to someone afterward to ask about what they shared during the session, which helps keep things “safe” as men open up.
One guy challenged how much attention many of us pay to orgasm and ejaculation. He mentioned he has been practicing staying inside to extend his pleasure from anticipation and other elements of controlling climax that we here know well. He was very satisfied with what happened.
I really wanted to share my experience with being in chastity, and hearing him speak gave me the push I needed. I told this crowd of 30 men that I wear a device to help reach that same aim. Trust me when I say, I was nervous. I talked about wanting sex while my wife is on a different wavelength, and I got those knowing nods from others. When I mentioned my extended refractory period, more heads nodded in agreement. My only regret is not telling the group they could come talk to me afterward if they wished. I would have loved to go into deeper detail than I did there, but overall, I was pleased with myself for speaking up.
I also began wondering why I rely on a device rather than just self-control like that other man described. It didn’t take long for me to find the answer: I lack his level of self-discipline. Before heading out this weekend, I showered and washed without my gear in place. Afterward, I applied lotion. It felt wonderful; I got erect and masturbated almost automatically. This was the first time since starting with a chastity device back in April that I did so, and it left me feeling let down by myself. So there is my answer: I need the support.