I’ve had some thrilling updates in my marriage this past week, prompting the question below. I’ll give a quick background summary here now, and share more details over the next few days once I find the time to do it justice.
My wife is aware that I want her to manage my orgasms, but we haven’t explored orgasm denial deeply since an experience about seven years ago. That earlier period was great for me, though she eventually lost interest. I didn’t press the issue afterward. She’s mostly vanilla; while she occasionally indulges my kinks when I bring them up, it’s usually just to humor me.
This weekend, we had a long talk about our sex life. I admitted that I felt I was masturbating too much and that it was hurting our mutual satisfaction. I’d also read several blogs where couples decided the man should only be allowed to orgasm when with his wife. My wife took this well, with mixed emotions—glad I brought it up but slightly hurt that she might not be satisfying me if I need porn and masturbation.
The night after we talked, she surprised me by telling me at bedtime that she would give me a written agreement the next morning stating I couldn’t orgasm without her permission. She said it with good humor and firmness, letting me know I could offer suggestions but had little room to negotiate. Naturally, I was thrilled.
Here’s the catch: my timing is poor because she’s going on a 10-day business trip starting in two days. From past experience, I know she wants this to be enjoyable for both of us, but she isn’t naturally inclined toward taking control or teasing. She doesn’t read blogs or forums like ours; she’s barely comfortable with the concept right now, so I need to pick materials carefully when offering her ideas.
She has asked twice how I plan to last 10 days while she is away. It would have been a perfect time to suggest a chasity device, but I feel it might be too soon for that yet. Hopefully we will get there eventually…
My specific question: I’m looking for a good comprehensive list of ideas for teasing a denied sub from afar that I can share with her. I know such lists exist and have seen them before, but somehow I can’t find one right now when I need it most. Does anyone here have one or remember where to find it? Since she’s new to this, I’m particularly hoping for suggestions she won’t immediately dismiss as extreme. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
I’m very excited about this development and will post more soon. But I’d love to send her off with ideas that aren’t just from me….
Thanks in advance.