I’ve been mulling over the concept of denial and what draws us to it. Why is withholding pleasure something we want, even becoming hooked on? Chastity feels like a natural extension of edging. The final release hits harder than a standard orgasm. Yet, you can get that same intensity in just hours or a day through edging alone. So why does the locked box and sexual denial hold such appeal? Why endure days, weeks, or months without fulfillment, staying teased and sensitive? I’ve been digging into my own reasons, trying to pin down this attraction. I realize I enjoy kink broadly, but this specific practice seems paradoxical. The urge to ejaculate is powerful, deeply tied to being male—a primal drive to procreate. Recently, I read Stephen Fry’s second autobiography, The Fry Chronicles. He’s a captivating man. A quote of his about smoking resonated with me regarding this peculiar desire for enforced chastity: ‘A cigarette is the perfect type of pleasure. It is exquisite, and leaves one unsatisfied.’
- The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde. Fry elaborates on this thought: ‘The point is that a pleasure which leaves you satisfied stops being a pleasure the moment it has been enjoyed. You are now sated; there’s nothing more to be gained from it. Sex and food fall into this category.’
- The Fry Chronicles, Stephen Fry. Remove the satisfaction (the end), and you’re left with an ongoing state of exquisite delight—continuous sexual arousal without being fully satiated. Maybe I have a head start since I never really took up smoking cigarettes.