Chastity and orgasm denial discussion

Chastity is manageable, yet my penis struggles to stay firm… I’m a newcomer here. Hello. I’ve spent roughly a month in voluntary chastity (no cage). My first stint lasted 12 days without orgasm and included plenty of penetrative sex with my wife. It concluded with an accidental ruined climax when I finally lost control because I wasn’t hard enough during intercourse to keep myself together. On the second attempt, I went for 8 days before having a ruined climax without direct touch; while serving her by hand, I climbed onto her leg unexpectedly. Now, on my third phase of chastity, I’m noticing that I don’t get very firm throughout the day. Arousal is constant, but it never reaches that rock-hard state I’m accustomed to. So I worry that being in a cage is weakening my ability to achieve strong erections. Any thoughts? Alternatively, perhaps enjoying “ruined” climaxes is conditioning me against wanting hardness. I really love the sensation of a ruined climax; I’m not entirely sure why I crave it so much, but there’s something about the helplessness that accompanies it. Plus, the feeling feels deeply internalized, like an orgasm originating from a deeper source. I rather adore it.