I came too much last week. That’s what we’ve figured out. We got carried away and I came three times after 70 days of denial. It was great, but it’s led to a severe drop in my devotion.
I’m still doing everything I should, but I’m not feeling it - my heart is simply not in it. We both know this is biochemical and it will pass, but we hate it. I think I hate it more than she does. She has been so patient with me without letting up on her expectations. She is okay with me doing for her even if my heart is not in it as much.
I used to think it was a male chastity myth, this drop, but it’s very real. I am less attentive, more impatient, more aggressive, and less submissive than usual, etc. I found myself resenting her instructions and thinking it wasn’t so bad when I was in charge (even though it was).
Yesterday morning I could feel my lack of feeling if that makes sense. We talked via text for awhile and I felt better, then we talked more at home and we both felt even better. Then we went into the bedroom and I focused on her and her pleasure.
I told her how trading a few seconds of orgasm for a week or two of feeling like I did was not worth it. I meant it then and I mean it now. I would rather remain always on edge and devoted to her than feel this way.
Melissa was flattered. And she agreed that for now we would make do with ruined orgasms (and those will be rare). That way she can feel my ejaculate inside her (which she enjoys) while I am denied the full release that brings the drop.
I may not orgasm for the rest of this year. She said that’s very likely. She doesn’t like to use dates or timetables, but she did say that for us the fewer the better and I agreed.
I know we all enjoy cumming, but does anyone else ever think the afterward is not worth the few seconds of release?
Michael