Quick context: My wife and I are both in our mid-60s, married for fifteen years. Recently, her libido has dropped significantly because of health problems. I’ve always had a submissive side and often dream about being teased by my partner while she controls my pleasure. For the past couple of years, I’ve been experimenting with self-locking devices, hiding the key in our kitchen safe. Lynn knew what I was doing and put up with it, but she preferred not to get involved directly. This limits how enjoyable self-locking feels for me.
This leads into what happened over the last few days. A couple of days ago, after being a bit difficult, I decided to lock myself in as a form of personal punishment. The evening before that, acting almost on instinct, I was unusually affectionate. She noticed and teased me about whether I just wanted sex. I told her she knew it wouldn’t happen while I had the key hidden away, so we moved past it. Later, when getting ready for bed, Lynn rolled over and kissed me—a rare occurrence lately. We chatted while I gently stroked her skin. It was a lovely discussion about our relationship hurdles. We talked about how comforting it is to cuddle knowing that my arousal won’t lead to escalation since the lock prevents it. Eventually, we spooned up together for sleep. This shift felt very positive.
The real twist came in the morning. She asked me to prepare her facial mask solution but then hesitated, worrying she was being demanding. I said yes happily and added that I’m quite compliant when locked. After a moment’s thought, she mused, “Maybe you should stay locked permanently.” Without hesitation, I agreed: “Sure, let’s keep it for a week and see what happens.” As I got up to make the mask, she confirmed, “OK, we shall do that.” Naturally, I was shocked, thrilled, and slightly nervous.
To clarify, permanent doesn’t mean 24/7 without break. We discussed how my self-locking works earlier. Since retiring, I’ve been diligent about fitness—walking the dog every morning plus vigorous exercise. To prevent chafing during workouts, I’ll unlock myself in the mornings for activity. After showering post-workout, I relock and place the key back into the lock box, setting a timer so I can retrieve it again the next morning. Lynn won’t manage this daily routine herself; I believe her hands-off approach will help keep long-term chastity appealing to her. How does this differ from before? It’s consistent rather than sporadic, and importantly, Lynn knows about the lock and supports it, which aligns perfectly with my fantasies.
There are still some unknowns regarding how things progress. I hope this isn’t just a one-off event but marks the start of her desiring me in long-term chastity. We need to work out together whether (and when) occasional releases might be granted if she thinks it’s deserved, along with other practicalities. After fantasizing about denial for so long, I wonder if the actual experience will match my desires in reality. Only time will tell. For now, I’m hopeful that positive changes lie ahead.