Journals and blogs discussion

Hi all, for those who haven’t seen my intro yet, here’s a quick recap: I’m in my mid-20s and for the first time ever, I have the chance to explore chastity and feminization after splitting up with my girlfriend. The forum tagline reads “The Vault - We are all on a journey. Please share yours here with an interactive journal.” Yep, I am on that journey. But honestly, I’m not entirely sure where it leads. Most of us likely realize that fantasy and reality can be quite different. I’ve always dreamed about living as a woman. I’ve also always fantasized about being kept in chastity. Yet the truth is: I don’t know if I still enjoy those things when they’re real life. And so my journey starts… (Warp 9, Engage!) Chastity I’m currently wearing my CB-6000 via CarliLock. (Please vote for me - I still need a non-member to cast a vote). My lock has been engaged since last Sunday, and I set the minimum duration to one week. So, regardless of anything else, I’ll be locked up until next Sunday. After that point, my fate rests in the hands of others—strangers. That feels both scary and exciting. The longest period I’ve spent in chastity was roughly two weeks. It was a challenge. I’m not certain I can endure much longer than that. I hope I won’t have to test this further;) Regardless, I’m already thinking about how I’ll achieve my first orgasm once released. Masturbation has become quite dull lately (which is one reason I shut myself in). Any thoughts? Feminization I’ve been dressing up since around age 11 or 12. Fortunately for me, no one ever caught on. I still recall what sparked my interest in feminine attire. It was probably during fifth grade. Our English textbooks featured a picture (and an entire chapter) about school uniforms. We didn’t wear uniforms to school here in Germany, so the subject was already intriguing to us. But that specific image really stuck with me. It showed a group of students, including one very attractive girl wearing a white blouse, a sleeveless pullover, a navy blue skirt, and white knee socks. I hadn’t had much “contact” with formal wear before (aside from the occasional family wedding), so it appealed to me greatly. The girls at my school mostly wore t-shirts and jeans all day long. (To be fair, we boys rarely went to school in suits either;) … well, actually once. And it was legendary. But that’s beside the point here;) From then on, I found myself drawn to formal, “proper” clothing and uniforms—for both genders. Up until now, I mostly expressed my fetish by wearing suits occasionally (unfortunately, everyone at work dresses quite casually, but I try to suit up as often as possible). Now, however, I’m going to start wearing feminine clothes for a change (at home, not office!:D ). Don’t misunderstand me; I do like the male version of myself. I enjoy my beard. I enjoy doing guy things like watching motorsports. I am a sci-fi geek. But starting today, female-me will gradually take over (at least part-time). But I don’t just want to dress up. I want to engage in stereotypically feminine activities. I want to learn cooking (well, actually I really need to master it!:D ). I want to pick up sewing. I want to think, feel, and act like a woman. I truly desire to experience what being female feels like. Sooner or later, reality will confirm whether my fantasy holds true. By the way, here are today’s shaving and dressing results: [[Image: up_sofa.jpg]](the referenced community page) [[Image: up_beine.jpg]](the referenced community page) I missed a few tiny hairs, but I’m happy with this first attempt. And I absolutely love the second photo. It really is me. Let’s see how it goes. Hopefully, male-me and female-me can coexist peacefully (if I ever find another girlfriend, I hope she accepts that). Or at least, I might discover whether I prefer male-me or female-me more. I’ll update you all on my progress, if anyone bothers to read;) So … writing this has left me horny. And silly me is wearing a lock device right now. Darn! Cornelia P.S.: Female-me hasn’t completely taken over my body yet. I still have the beard… It’s necessary for a historical pageant next month. But it will be gone after that. Promise!