It always amazes me how I responded to my chastity. Fantasizing about it was one thing, but reality hit when everything collapsed in my marriage. Time and again, I admitted I had been a terrible, neglectful husband. I masturbated several times daily and struggled to make love with my Wife. That is something I will regret forever. Even after a year has passed… she still cries thinking about what a miserable fuck I was for putting her through that. When I tell Her I never cheated on Her, She yells back that I did cheat all the time … perhaps not with another woman … but with my porn and masturbation habits. And She is right.
Wearing my CB, I am not constantly aroused… yet I exist in a perpetual state of desire and longing. There isn’t a single moment where I forget it’s on; it is always touching my cock, sliding into the silicone-slicked interior. Imagine your hand resting inside your pants against your cock all day long. It would drive you to want to masturbate constantly. That is exactly how I feel. Every woman I see makes me fantasize that she desires me too, pulling down my pants to reveal my panties and CB. I want every woman I look at, while my wife thinks it’s wonderful that I am perpetually tortured. It never stops… I can’t forget its presence, remaining forever in a state of arousal. Leakage is frequent. Until you’ve had an erection build up inside one of these devices … words fail to describe the sensation.
Now, I am an attentive husband, hoping my marriage survives. The road has been long and filled with intense emotion. It didn’t have to end this way… but I am thoroughly devoted to my Wife. My only wish is to please her. I cannot change what happened, but I can control where we go from here.
She looks over my shoulder as she reads everything. She wants me to lay it all bare … telling everyone what a piece of shit I was for victimizing Her. I hope she forgives me eventually. I love her and always have; I was just addicted to porn and masturbation. From what I’ve read, I am not alone.