I’m Jason (well, not really my birth name, but it works for this forum) and my wife is Bea (also not her real one – no offense meant, just saying the internet should be viewed with some skepticism). I do swear that, aside from our names, everything else I share here is completely genuine.
After years of dreaming about it (and thanks largely to Sarah’s guide), I finally found the courage to have “The Conversation” with my wife.
I first got interested in cuckolding (though I didn’t know the term for many a year) when I was 17, on an airplane. I’m 42 now. I had picked up a copy of Penthouse (yes, I was only 17 then) to read during the flight. In the forum section there was a story that sticks in my memory vividly even today. It told of a man who came home from work and heard his wife showering. He wandered into the lounge killing time when he spotted an envelope full of photos resting on his wife’s open handbag. Inside, he found pictures showing his wife sucking another guy’s thick cock until it loaded up all over her face. The husband was stunned but also thrilled. When his wife emerged from the bathroom she apologized profusely and then proceeded to suck him while answering his questions about her lover (who turned out to be her boss) and how much she enjoyed being with him. After a night of intense sex, she left the next day promising that because he liked the photos so much, more were on their way back home later that evening. (She went back to work, bedded her boss, threw in the photographer they’d hired for good measure, and then dashed home for some wild shagging with her newly minted but enthusiastic cuckold husband).
It’s a classic cuckolding tale, but at the time I hadn’t heard anything quite like it. Its impact on me was deep – proof of which is that I still remember it over two decades later. What really excited me most was the part where the wife returns to work the next day, leaving her husband with no doubt that she’s enjoying a good fuck while he goes about his business alone. The idea of my partner (she was just a girlfriend then) getting thoroughly bred and fucked while I waited at home has been – and remains – the strongest fantasy I’ve ever known.
Turns out that girlfriend did cuckold me once, which I saw coming, and probably cheated on me more than once after that. In another instance, I joined her for group sex with a guy who had a genuinely impressive cock size. But honestly? I didn’t enjoy those real-life experiences much. The emotions got to me; I was either too jealous or oddly detached. Yet this exposure to the reality of cuckolding and my realization that I don’t actually like living it hasn’t dimmed my excitement for the fantasy.
My wife and I have been together nearly 20 years, though we spent a lot of time apart during our first decade because both of us traveled frequently, naturally seeing other people. In those 20 years since meeting Bea, almost every time I’ve jerked off, it’s revolved around the fantasy of her fucking someone else – even though deep down I know that if she actually did so now, it would likely ruin our relationship.
So why am I here on a chastity forum instead of a cuckold one?
I first encountered male chastity through cuckolding websites but didn’t give it much thought because it seemed mostly focused on guys in dresses eating cream pies – neither of which has ever appealed to me. So for years, I kept jerking off to cuckold porn and living a secret sexual life separate from my wife. After a while (and I mean many years…), the thrill faded; the stories started blending together and one picture became much like another. To recapture that initial excitement from that plane story decades ago, I began honestly analyzing what exactly it was about being cuckolded that turned me on. Since I didn’t actually enjoy the reality of it, what part of the fantasy got to me? For instance, if my wife getting fucked excites me so much, why am I not interested in hotwiving or swinging where I could participate too?
After thinking it over, I realized it all came back to that first story and the moment when the woman left her husband behind. What clicked for me was that it wasn’t really about the woman getting fucked as much as it was about the man not getting fucked! My desire for my wife to take a lover is fundamentally a desire for her sexual pleasure while I am denied mine too. It’s not necessarily just about her fucking someone else (though that remains the hottest fantasy in its simplest form); it’s more about her exploring and enjoying her sexuality while I’m kept from that same enjoyment. This also explains why my most intense cuckold fantasies involve me being entirely absent from the act itself, whether waiting at home or hiding in another room (perhaps listening, perhaps not).
And so I started looking into male chastity with fresh eyes. And found what had been missing.
Other men still played a high role in my fantasies but they weren’t essential anymore. What mattered was the thought of my wife enjoying sexual release (with a lover, a toy, or just her fingers) while I am denied mine. I tried experimenting by holding back when jerking off, but found it lacking because there wasn’t enough pleasure in self-denial – ultimately I still held the control that I didn’t want. Plus, where was the thrill of my wife’s sexual enjoyment if I played this game alone? Still, I couldn’t bring myself to admit my desire for chastity to Bea because everything I read about it focused on sissies, cross-dressing, and submission – things I don’t want and know damn well Bea wouldn’t either.
Then, like a window opening up, Sarah’s blog appeared and showed me that chastity didn’t have to be all those things. It could be exactly what I’d wanted for so long: handing over sexual power and control without losing my masculinity. Unfortunately, Sarah’s blog also presented a major hurdle. If I truly want this (and I do), then I no longer have an excuse to hide in my masturbation fantasy world; I’ll have to come clean with Bea. In short, I’d better grow some balls (even though the plan is likely for them to be taken away…)
As a side note here: Bea and I have had a fairly standard sex life. Lots of vanilla mixed with plenty of experimental kink in our earlier years (our relationship was on-and-off back then, which extended that phase), followed by a decline later due to age, work, and kids – but never any lack of desire for each other, here’s the key point. Apart from my current chastity desires, even during the leaner times I’d rather not be having sex with Bea than have it with someone else.
Lately we’ve started rediscovering our sexual connection (the kids are older now) and overall we’ve always had a decent sex life. Bea’s one real complaint has been that I am (ha – was…) very quiet when I cum up. It annoyed her because sometimes she wouldn’t even know I’d finished, but honestly, I’ve never found orgasms to be incredibly intense (probably because I jerked off so often from an early age that ‘just another orgasm’ didn’t provide much thrill whether alone or with her). Since we’re here, I might as well mention that I’m not particularly large in the pants department: about 5.5 inches and fairly thin around it too. For most women I’ve slept with this hasn’t been a problem (a couple of exceptions were enough to make me realize I don’t really enjoy small penis humiliation), and for Bea, it’s never been an issue although once or twice when she was especially annoyed she has admitted
ted to missing a big cock and even once (and I keep this one for my cuckold fantasies) describing to me how fantastic the feeling is the first time a guy with a really big cock enters her (I still wank over this although she denies the conversation ever happened!) Anyway, over our almost 20 years together we’ve done a lot of things and pretty much just had a good deal of fun but we’ve never really played overly with tease and denial beyond the usual ‘wind your partner up to see how far you can push them’ stuff. However about two months ago Bea and I were having sex and she was wearing a flannel nightdress with a tie up section at the bust (okay, I admit it doesn’t sound the horniest outfit but it pushes my buttons…) and she was fooling around by letting me touch and kiss her breasts and then putting them away and telling me I wasn’t allowed to touch or see them anymore. The strength of my reaction to this I think surprised her and she played a bit more, sliding herself off me and teasing that I wasn’t allowed back in etc. In retrospect I think this was less the first time she’d teased me like this (although I struggle to remember another example) rather than the first time I felt confident enough to show her my honest response. I openly showed and told her how much she was turning me on and decided that now was probably the best time to start being honest. I whispered that what would be really hot for me was if she didn’t let me cum at all and, after a bit of playing and teasing she eventually was convinced that I was serious and our session ended with her deciding enough and me left with a hard on the kind of which I hadn’t felt since I was a teenager. We cuddled and talked and I confessed that I found the whole idea of orgasm denial extremely horny and we discussed this at great length until we fell asleep with her wrapped in my arms and my still hard cock pressed firmly in her back. We fucked in a similar fashion for the next three nights in a row (something we hadn’t done for ages) and continued both with teasing and orgasm denial for me and lots of talking (mostly by me) about how hot this was. I was at pains to try to explain that I really wanted this and that what I really wanted was for her to make the decision about whether I came or not. Over the next week and a half some nights we had sex, others we didn’t, but I resisted the desire to wank and reminded Bea that the decision on when this ended was hers. Eventually I ended up coming when she was on top which was a letdown to us both as it felt like an anticlimax after all our play (I was wearing two condoms at the time to lessen the sensations and allow me to last more than a few minutes and the orgasm was unsatisfying for both of us). However we’d enjoyed the game and started to play again a few days later. This time I made it to two weeks before another accidental orgasm when Bea stroked me just that tiny bit too much after saying we should stop now (another unsatisfying end for both of us, Bea because she didn’t want it to happen and me because the moment I started to cum she let go in surprise and gave me an almost perfect – albeit accidental – ruined orgasm). We’ve continued to play with this tease and deny game for the last few months and have both really enjoyed it. We have both noticed and enjoyed the difference this makes to me as after approximately four days I become really horny and affectionate and also much less grumpy both with Bea and our kids. After a week I simply want to hold Bea and can’t let her go to sleep at night without cuddling her in my arms (a lack of which has been another major complaint from her of the years). I have been amazed at how much I notice her and want to just touch and hold her, not necessarily in a sexual way, but just to touch her (in fact one night she was changing into her nightdress and I caught a glimpse of her naked breast which absolutely and in the very real sense of the term ‘took my breath away’. Forget porn, that one glimpse was possibly the horniest thing I’ve seen in years. Oh, and I was allowed to cum that night…) This was fun but for me there was something missing and that was the amount of control I still had. I’m pretty good with self-control but two weeks is about my limit and I want to be denied for longer. Also I’m ‘cheating’. When the frustration gets too much I take myself in hand (figuratively) and relive that tension – I don’t come – but just playing is enough of a relief to get me through another day. I couldn’t / can’t stop myself from doing this but I desperately don’t want to be able to – I wanted the next step (and we all know what that is…) However despite the fun we were having I was still very apprehensive about coming clean with Bea. I had intended to buy Sarah’s guide for some advice but in the end events overtook that. About a month ago now we were having sex with Bea on top (her favourite position for teasing as she has so much control) and we were having such a great time I thought ‘the hell with it, I’m going to explode if I don’t get this out soon’. So, as Bea rode me I admitted that, although this teasing was great and we’d both noticed the benefits of keeping me in a state of denial, there was something else that I wanted along the same lines. Although Bea continued to slide up and down on me I could tell that she had pretty much snapped out of the mood and was ominously quiet. I confessed (probably not particularly articulately) that what I really wanted was for her to have complete control (not actually true but I’m allowed to get lost in the moment too) and how hot it would be if I was locked up in a device so I couldn’t ever touch myself unless she allowed it (to be honest there was quite a bit along these lines but my mind was elsewhere as I was both outrageously excited and sweating bullets at the same time). To my relief Bea groaned and kissed me and we continued fucking until she’d had enough and we stopped (without me cumming, natch). Once we’d calmed down (well, she had, I was hard for bloody ages) we talked about the whole thing more rationally and she was pretty cool about it (her actual words were ‘I thought you were going to ask to dress up in my clothes or for me to fuck you up the arse and I couldn’t do that so this is fine’.) In fact she didn’t even think that chastity was particularly high on the kinky scale and was even a bit puzzled about why, if I’d wanted this for years, I’d never felt I could talk to her about it. All those years of wasted angst – live and learn, eh). Since then we’ve continued with orgasm denial play but also agreed that there’s going to be times when we’re going to need to take a break from it (she was delighted when one night after a long teasing session from her I simply rolled her over and banged the hell out of her – she doesn’t want to lose that. However she wasn’t so delighted that she didn’t stop me from cumming that night either). One stipulation was that, as we are in the middle of building a house with all its associated costs, we wait till later to buy a device. Obviously after over twenty years of waiting (albeit that I didn’t always know what I was waiting for…) I’m fine with this and, although very impatient, think it’s a good thing as it gives us time to discuss this in more detail. ……………………… I had intended to post this awhile ago but never got to it so things have moved on a bit since I wrote it. Most importantly I am writing this while my dick is securely enclosed in my new CB6000s. Unfortunately I’m now missing my wife who is holidaying with the kids at her mum’s (in another country) and will be gone for the next 7 weeks. I figure this is a good chance to get used to the device and find the right fit etc. I’m having a few comfort issues and the longest I’ve managed in one go is 48hrs but assume I’ll get it figured out by the time Bea gets home. Despite the above story I’m still a bit nervous about how she’ll react when she gets home (she doesn’t k
the cage is here now). I suppose I’ll handle that issue as it comes up and let you know how things go.
